I feel like I am in limbo land.
Nothing is" normal".
There is no routine.
Everything seems to revolve around ML dying.
It permeates everything!
I want my routine back. I want normal back.
I am tired of seeing sad faces on those I care about.
I am tired of the disconnect that happens when people are so overwhelmed they can barely function.
I want to be normal again!--There I said it!
Now................. I am totally overwhelmed with guilt.
Our routine will return when ML leaves us.
I don't want her to leave us but...... in some ways she has.
The woman who stares at me with vacant eyes is not ML.
I don't know that person and she does not know me. I care about her but don't know her.
I feel so lost. -------------I feel so guilty.
I don't want ML to die---I just want to be normal again.
3 comments:
:( Virtual hugs my friend... hang in there...
You're just being honest. I know many people caring for those that can't care for themselves feel the same way. It completely consumes your life and nothing is normal. But, God bless you for doing this for her. Sending you prayers and good thoughts.
It is a very hard thing you are doing. It has been an awful year for your family. But through it all you have us and you have eachother. I am glad for that.
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