Thursday, June 30, 2011


Choices--they are a good thing?
It's nice to have them but it does let you see the cost of things.

Now I am NOT complaining--but I have started to see what choices have given and
cost me,
in small ways.

For example --summer vacations.
From 1997-2008 we went to Maine every summer.
It was beautiful and wonderful.
Hubby's parents rented the same house and people would come and go as they wanted.
We took the kids every year.

We loved it.
The house felt like ours, we knew the routine, we new the area, we saw the same people.
It was tradition.
It was a big part of my daughter's childhood.

What we didn't do in the summer was travel.
We didn't see the National Parks or go out west, something I really wanted to do.

So now we are planning a trip out west and we aren't sure if my daughter will be able to go.
She may be working--she is at the age.
Granted she traveled with her camp the last 2 summers,
but this trip may be without her.


Monday, May 30, 2011


Time is a funny thing.
It has been getting my attention lately--
and in an usual way.
Through novels.

Every year around this time, I start to unwind from the school year.
I read novels; not heavy, light reading.
I call it " back washing out my brain".

I just read BEACH TREES by Karen White.
It is set in Mississppi right after Katrina and the oil spill.

One of the characters is named Miss Ammie.
Miss Ammie is the grandmother and throughout the book she recalls stories from when she was a young bride.
After reading 2 or 3 of Miss Ammie's stories it hits me...
I could be the young baby in the story and Miss Ammie could my mother.

The story is not about us but, the time line is right.
In the early 60's my mother was a young mother.

How did that happen?
How did the story of remembering become my mother's memories and not my grandmother's?

I mean, I know my grandparents are dead.
I know I have children and they have have grandparents.
But, I never saw it in black and white.

I have moved over on the timeline.
Not just my time line...
the world's time line.

This will take some getting used to....

Wednesday, January 26, 2011


It's been a whirlwind.
First I discovered I couldn't eat Gluten.
This summer I discovered I coldn't eat soy.
This holiday season I discovered I couldn't eat Soy Lecithin.
Soy Lecuthin is in EVERYTHING--chocolate, mayo, The almond milk I use using.
It was like discovering I gluten all over again.

I think I finally got rid of all the Soy lecithin in my diet.
It's been a week--I discoverd this problem in December!
I am feeling better.

The side effect--I am eating more, not less.
The same thing happened with Gluten.
Once I find something I CAN eat, I eat a lot of it.
Portion sizes do not apply.

My strong sense is not to worry about that right now--a step at a time.
First concentrate on finding healthy meals, healthy foods.

Next will come portion control, but for now don't deprive myself of anything else.

A day at a time, a meal at a time
Here's hoping to to no more set backs!

Monday, September 13, 2010

Doing the Right Thing

The other night we were at a college football game.
Luke bought along a friend.

We were sitting near the top of the bleachers.
A group of boys,
around Luke's age
came and sat near us.

After about 20 minutes, one of the boys younger brother came to join them.
He looked about 5, the other boys looked around 10.

He told his brother that he had to sit next to him.
The kid sitting next to the big brother wouldn't move.

The big brother asked him to move.
He refused.

The little bother tried to squeeze in.
The boy pushed the little brother off the bench.

I turned to him told him to cut it and make room for the little kid.

Luke was horrified.
" Mommy!"he said.

About 10 minutes later the bully boy left.
When he returned he had posters for everyone.
Everyone except the the little boy.

He taunted the little boy with the poster.
Luke and his friend got upset.

" That's so mean, " they both said.
Then they started whispering.

A few moments later,
they got up and walked over to the little boy.

" If you want a poster we will go get you one, " they said.

The shy little boy shook his head.

The bully's mouth dropped.

Luke and his friend went back to their seats.

The bully sat there for a few minutes.
Then took the little boy by his hand and brought him down to get a poster.

Nothing like being shamed into doing the right thing by your peers!

Thursday, September 9, 2010

What Kids Think

As we near yet another anniversary of September 11th,
I am reminded of something MoMo said a few weeks after.

Gena's sister was dying of cancer--yes, 2001 was another bad year for us.
MoMo was 6 and we decided that we would see Aunt Susie dying.
Gena had taken the lead on this.
I think she knew that one day MoMo would have to watch her die.

MoMo wasn't very close to Aunt Susie.
She did spend time with her at the end.

The day sfter Susie died, I was tucking Maureen into bed.
As I leaned over to kiss her goodnight she suddenly sat up and started to cry.

"If Aunt Susie is dead, and the bad guys from the airplane are dead. Can they hurt Aunt Susie?"

Tuesday, September 7, 2010


I am estranged from my family.
I get an occasional email from my mom but that's it.
It's a long story--one for another day.

As a result of being estranged, I have lost track of many of my cousins.
That was until FACE BOOK.

About a year ago my cousin Joyce contacted me through Facebook.
I was so surprised and thrilled to hear from her.
The last time I had seen her was in high school and now she had a grown son!

We exchanged emails and commented on each others pictures and posts.
She helped me get in touch with more cousins.

A few months ago she was found unconscious in her bathroom.
No one was sure how long she was there.
She remained in a coma for 6 more days.
When she finally came out of the coma she had sustained liver and heart damaged.

When she returned home she asked me to call her.
I did.
We spoke for about an hour--I hadn't heard from her in 20 years.
We got caught up.

A week later she texted me and told she was on her way back to the hospital.
She was bleeding internally.
Somehow she made it through surgery and again was unconscious for days after.

Last week she rallied--a little.
But that was short lived.
Last night she died.

I am feeling sad and a little lost.
She was a connection to my past.
We grew up together.
We shared holidays and
we shared family.

I will miss her posts and her emails.
I will miss that connection.

I feel...... sad......a drift..........

Monday, September 6, 2010

No Nuts Zone

In May of 2009 I discovered I couldn't eat gluten.
It had started out slowly.
I had done "mini fast" in April.
I cut out wheat, sugar and caffeine.
I had been feeling sluggish and my Yoga instructor thought this might be helpful.

After I started the fast, I got SICK!!!
I spent many hours in the bathroom.
But after a few days I started to feel better.

In May I started eating bread again.
I was in P town for the weekend and we went out for breakfast.
The restaurant specialized in homemade French Toast and I couldn't resist!!

The next day I noticed bumps on my hands.
I continued to eat wheat and within a few days my legs were covered in hives.
They itched and were hot to the touch.
I had awful stomach pain , low grade fever and headaches.

After a few trips to the doctor it was discovered that I couldn't tolerate gluten.

It took me a awhile to get used to this idea.
The first months, I was afraid to eat anything.
I lived on eggs.

I managed to get through the first year but still wasn't feeling great.
This summer I discovered that I couldn't tolerate Soy products.

I spent most of this summer learning how to cook gluten free.
I totally embraced it.
I started following blogs, reading cookbooks and trying new recipes.
The most amazing thing was my family liked the gluten free food better than the gluten free food.

I made homemade granola, tomato sauce and lots of salads and stir fries.

School started back up and I was all set.
I had my almond milk, my homemade granola and gluten free bread.
On opening Day the superintendent made an announcement.
We were a nut free school.
No nuts of any kind!

Do you know how much gluten free food is made with ALMONDS!!!

I knew we had kids that had peanut allergies.
I didn't bring peanut products to school.
But no one had reported any allergies to almonds.

But now I am back to square one.
I feeling defeated.

I am trying to find quick, easy food to grab at work that doesn't have nuts, milk, soy or gluten.

Any ideas?