ENOUGH ALREADY!!!

More snow 

More ice 

More flu 

ENOUGH

I want to go to Florida

Aren't Men Funny!!

Hubby has  the flu now.

True confessions --when I was sick with the flu I was a terrible patient!  

Put the flu, no sleep and good old case of PMS--and you have a crying, screaming maniac!

Impossible to live with. 

Impossible to talk too.

Just plain impossible!!!!!!!!!

Moving right along.

Hubby is now sick. 

I came home to find him in bed--looking awful.

He started to describe how he felt and I agreed with him. 

I told him I felt the same way this weekend.

He then said" No, this is worse!".

The man who was ready to move out into a hotel with weekend because I was so hard to deal

 said --

" This is worse!  You don't understand"

I have to chuckle!!

and honey is you reading this --sorry I could not resist.

Sounds of a Week Day Morning

Usually I am up and out of the house by 6:30--yep that is right 6:30 AM.

It is quiet when I leave  and dark.

The dogs have been fed and are still sleepy.

The birds are still asleep.

Hubby and Son are still asleep.

Daughter is up--but I would not say she is awake--she is not a morning person.

This past Friday was different.

I was home with Son.

At 7 am Daughter leaves, and Hubby is getting out of the shower.

The dogs are now excited because they think it is Saturday and they are going for a long walk.

The local news is over and the Today shows starts.

Matt and Meredith are serious and look very professional.

At 7:05   the first school  bus goes by.

The sun is peaking out over the hill behind our house. 

Birds--mostly crows start making noise.( I wouldn't call it singing)

7:30 Hubby leaves.

He comes back in 3 times because he needs things.  

He fills up his To Go coffee mug-it is a glass Peanut butter jar--a story for another day.

Comes back for his wallet and keys.

One more time for something else.

Son says Daddy always comes  back inside a few times--it is part of the routine.

8:00 Matt and Meredith start joking around.

They go outside with Al while Ann is still inside.

Matt has a blue paper that he reads from, Meredith a pink.

The serious tone is gone.

The stories they report on are about dogs and recipes.

8:10  The other school bus goes by.

This one you can hear a ways down the street.

It rattles over the bumpy snow cover road--

The sun doesn't hit it so it mounds of packed snow left over from the plows.

8:30

The dishwasher is going. The washing machine is going.

I am frantically looking for a pen to copy down the recipe Al is going to give me next hour.

9:00 Son is up.

He is lying on the couch.

The Disney channel is on.

I missed Al's recipe and now have no idea what to make for dinner.

I feel like the day is half over!

Remembering

The Flu bug has come to the Happy Valley.

Son got it first.

He was such a trooper!

As I sat up with him until 2am, I was remembering the first time one of my children got the flu.

It was Daughter and I was totally overwhelmed.

Will she ever stop throwing up?

How will I know when it time to cal the doctor?

How can so much be in the tummy of a 3 month old?

This time I knew what to do.

I got a bucket. I rubbed his back. I sat on the couch with him and turned on the TV to distract him.

I knew what to do thanks to the help of Sue and ML.

Every time Daughter got sick I called them.

Sue would say-" Yep, that's what you do."

ML would say ." You are doing a good job. Trust your gut."

It was nice to know that I could take of Son this time but I kindof missed that check in.

It brought back warm memories.

So as I stayed up with Son, I told him the stories of Sue and Grammy.

He said it helped.

Sick

The flu has blanketed the Happy Valley the past few days.

The fog appears to be lifting!!

I Love My Job!!!

Six years ago I was testing a 7th grader ( Kasey)

She was sweet and worked hard.

I was doing a new kind of testing , one that looked at reading differently.

This test looked at how kids read words off the page AND how kids remember ( comprehend) what they read.

Kasey could read the words off the page beautifully!!!

When I did the part that looked at her comprehension, she fell apart.  Literally....

She started to cry and soon was a total mess.

" I have no idea what I just read!", she cried . " It takes me 6 hours to do homework at night. I don't remember ANYTHING I read!!"

I told her that everything would be ok and together we could fix that.

Now she is a senior.

Today she stopped by my classroom.

Tomorrow she is taking her last final at our school--( we are a 7-12 school).

She is graduating early.

Monday she starts at a local community college.

She is going into Education.

I just LOVE my job!!!

An Awakening

This president has woke me up. He has reminded me of my roots.

I am close to his age, was raised during the late 60's early 70's.

I along with many others were raise to do help others.

When I was trying to figure out what I wanted to be when I "grew up" --helping others was the underlying theme.

Somewhere along the way those seeds that were planted got hidden below the bush and were replaced with " stuff".The need to keep up with the " Jones" came first.

The idea of the beautiful home with the the granite counter tops kitchen , big screen TV's , Wii's and playstations came first.

My kids see something on TV they yell--'I want that" or "Can we get that?".

Somewhere along the way I lost what was important.

I am going back to my roots.

I am going to remind myself what is really important.

I am going to help others. I am going to instill these values in my children.

And I am sooo excited that a have a president that is going to lead the way.

You Have to Admit

You have to admit that TODAY is an amazing event!

No matter your political views...   it is an amazing day.

Since 9/11 our country has been run by fear. Fear has shaped many if not most of Bush's decisions.

In November we took back that fear. We remembered who we were and starting to embrace the American dream once again.

Whether you are a Democratic or Republican , you must feel that since of pride.  

Our New President is living  the American dream.

A smooth transition of power will take place. Bush and Obama will switch places and they will be no blood shed.

Amazing!!!

We live in an amazing country and I am so glad to be a part of new beginning.

Something to Ponder

I read a line in a book--" I am my own best friend."

Hmmmmm--I don't think I am.

I put myself down, I put myself at the end of the list.

I would never say things to my friends like I say about me.

For a long time I hated myself. I felt like I didn't measure up. I wasn't smart or pretty enough. 

Actually, I felt like I wasn't enough of anything.

But little by slow I started to accept me.

Today I know I am good at my job. I know that I am good teacher and I DO help them.

Today I know that I am not ugly and I am learning to take care of myself.  I am working on my posture, eating better, dressing better and exercising.  I am ok with me. I know I can get better and WANT to get better.  

That is a big change. I never felt like I deserved to get better or would ever get better. 

Today I know and want to be better/ healthier.

Today I am excited for what's around he next corner. I am enjoying getting to know me and ...

Starting to enjoy me.

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

It is COLD!!!

Woke up this morning it was minus 4.

Drove to work it was minus 12--yep that is right minus 12 and No that does not mean with the windchill factor.

The drive to work was beautiful.

The river was fogged in. It was thick and dense.

The moisture from the fog crystallized on the trees.. The moisture crystallized and created in sparkly, white glitter against the black tree limbs.

I felt as if I crossed over to some mythical land.

Who knew Narinia was in the Happy Valley.

Media Free Time

We have started something new at our house--Media Free time.

Between the hours of 6-9 no media--( except on American Idol night, then it goes to 8).

Friday, Saturday and Sunday are also exempt.

The list includes: TV, computer, video games and Game Boys.

At first I thought it would be hard--but it hasn't been. Actually, it has beeen fun.

We play games together, read books by the fire, put together Leggo projects, and dance.

It has been a lot of fun and the kids seem to be enjoying it too.

It is just like in the olden days or as Son calls it --" when it was Black and White".

Pictures

Pictures are funny things. 

They freeze a moment  and then life goes on.

I hate pictures of me.

I am always shocked at how I look.

I don't feel like I look.

As a result I don't like having my picture taken.

There are few pictures of me.

This doesn't usually bother me until  Christmas card time.

Then it looks like I am not a part of my life.

I am --I am the one taking the picture.

This year card had pictures of the people we lost and us.

I took most of the pictures and as a result am not in the pictures

Well, I am in one.

Normally, I don't care but this time it looks like I wasn't a part of their lives

But I was.

Is it just enough to know it for myself and who cares what everyone else thinks?

Is it just an in law thing?

Don't get me wrong, I love the card and the pictures.

It just looks like I didn't part take in their lives.

Something to think about for the future....

What 3

Oprah is going the Best Life thing so I thought I would give it a whirl.

I DVR the episodes.

Today was Dr. Oz .

 I caught just a bit but he had a few suggestions.

One was --what 3 foods are you willing to give up now:

I posed the question to Hubby.

Here is what we came up with--

Good Bye- Oreos, Doritos, and ??

We could not come up with a third!

Oh , this is not good.....

Fun Exercise

I need to exercise more. I do Gyrotonics once a week but I need to do more.

So tonight I went to Jazzercise.

It was SOOOOO Much FUN!!!!

I went with a friend from work and we laughed the whole time.

I am going back on Wednesday.

Molly's Wish

The day after New Year's Molly climbed into my lap for a snuggle.

Molly is my niece, she is 6 and lives in Ohio.

Molly has had a tough year too. Her Daddy, Papa and Grammy died in 2008.

I told her that when a new year starts some people a make wish for the new year.

" What would your wish be?"

She got quiet and said " I don't think Mommy is ready for my wish."

I asked her what was her wish.

" To have a new Daddy. If we had a new Daddy we wouldn't be so sad."

Did Not See THAT Coming!

So after two days of not being able to flush a toilet or run water, we decided to bail.

We left for Hubby's step dad's house. He is out of town and said we could crash there.

The kids started to act up.

" This is hard"  Daughter said.

" What's hard? Going to a place where we can flush toilets?" I replied.

" It will be fine. Quickly get your stuff and let's go!" I said.

I was tired of looking at the crap in my tub. 

I was tired of the smell of poop and Clorox!

I wanted out!

We arrived with 2 very quiet children.

When I went to tuck them in- --they were crying.

" Are you going to sleep in the bed that Grammy died in? " asked Son.

I was stunned!!!

I TOTALLY forgot!  Grammy died here.

This  loving home had become   "The place where Grammy died".

I took a minute and told them how Grammy loved having them sleep over there--how she decorated the room with them in mind.

That seemed to help a little.

Some how them managed to fall asleep.

Someone ought to write a manual for this stuff!

I used to be...

I used to be the kind of person who had a hard time finding her voice.

I used to be a people pleaser.

I used to know what you wanted and not have a clue what I wanted or needed.

I used to want to be beige--to blend in.

I used know what kind of shoes you were wearing because I never looked you in the eye.

I used to have things happen to me and not have a clue " how that happened!"

I used to wait and have someone else solve the problem.

That was a long time ago.

Until lately--

I don't know what happened. All of a sudden things are hard .

I feel like I lost my voice and my confidence.

I am easily overwhelmed.

Today I stronger than I was yesterday , but I am not back.

I feel a little lost---------

How come this is happening now?

Not the Septic

The septic was pumped but I came home to a tub full of ------.

Now we call a plumber

ARRRRRRRRRRRRR

It sleeting outside. The rain is freezing and my septic has backed up into my bath tub!

I called the septic guy--he said he would come after I got the driveway plowed.

Found a friend to plow--Hubby is at work.

Called back the septic guy--he won't come!

I normally handle things like this ok--but lately my anxiety level is off the roof.  

I started to cry when the guy said he would not come and hung up on him.

Hubby feels helpless- he works 40 minutes from home.

I have called and left messages for other septic guys.

So I sit and wait.

We can't flush the toilet--did I mention I have  stomach bug?

We can't shower--all of us need showers. Don't you love puberty!

What can happen next?

Weather #4

It is forecasted to snow, then turn to freezing rain, than back to snow over the next 24 hours.

We are gearing up.

I bought water in case the power goes out. We have a well, which has a pump that is run on electricity.

We have a fireplace so we will have heat.

Everyone is excited.

The kids could not concentrate at school. 

The principal told us to have our snow trees ready.

Everyone was talking about " how much we are going to get. This is will be a bad one."

Hubby got me a weather radio for Christmas. It has been broad casting winter storm warnings since 5 am.

The weather Maven ( that is what Hubby calls me)  is ready.

January

You know it is January because you are taking down the tree.

You know it is January because you are checking the weather in hopes of a snow day.

You know it is January because you are trying to figure out how long you can keep up the outside Christmas lights!

You know it is January because you can't find gloves in the morning.

You know it is January because Hot Chocolate appears on your shopping list.

You know it is January because there are white sales.

You know it January because you have to refill your windshield wiper fluid.

You know it January because you have seen all the movies on On Demand.

You know it is January because 4 inches of snow doesn't seem like a lot.

You know it is January because you can't remember what 80 degree weather felt like!

Wondering Out Loud #8

Why is the trip home always longer than the trip there?

Birthday

Today is Hubby's brother birthday.
He would have been 41.

We are going to the cemetary today.
While we are there we will blow bubbles and make birthday wishes.
Papa is buried next to him so we will make wishes for him too.

A few of uncles will join us there.

Afterwards we will go out for dinner and ice cream.

It feels surreal. We have started to move on, heal and recover and WHAM! we are back there again!
I feel sad and angry at the same time.
I feel flat and full of life.
I am anxious to move on but a part of me feels guilty.
Is is okay to move on after we have lost so many?
I am starting to see what that looks like and it looks like we can do it.


But for today we will go back to the source of pain but we will do it together and we will emerge sooner, healthier than before.