Birthday

Today is Hubby's brother birthday.
He would have been 41.

We are going to the cemetary today.
While we are there we will blow bubbles and make birthday wishes.
Papa is buried next to him so we will make wishes for him too.

A few of uncles will join us there.

Afterwards we will go out for dinner and ice cream.

It feels surreal. We have started to move on, heal and recover and WHAM! we are back there again!
I feel sad and angry at the same time.
I feel flat and full of life.
I am anxious to move on but a part of me feels guilty.
Is is okay to move on after we have lost so many?
I am starting to see what that looks like and it looks like we can do it.


But for today we will go back to the source of pain but we will do it together and we will emerge sooner, healthier than before.