Sunday, May 24, 2009

Thinking Aloud #9

Before last year events were defined by by happy events-birthdays, anniversaries.
Now it defined by the "last time".

The Sunday morning of Memorial Day weekend 2008--
Hubby and I sat out and had our morning coffee on the deck.
We talked about Joe--his health was not good.
It looked like he had a blood clot in his leg.

He would need help after the surgery and we had a BIG discussion about what that would entail.

Hubby called Joe--he sounded scared.
Hubby explained we had been through this with his mom and we were there to help.
He needed to move closer and he needed to let us in -let us help.

Joe listened and agreed.
Once he got through this hurtle he would come out here and look for places to live out here.
They hung up.
Hubby looked relieved and thought the call went really well.

Hubby said Joe was in pain and having trouble walking.

I called Joe back.
Did he need anything? Did he need food? I could run down some food.

No he said he was fine--really. He had steak, and veggies.
He sounded pleased that I called back.
He said he had a good talk with Hubby and he loved us.

Two days later, I called to tell him Daughter would be playing in a concert near him.
He said he would go if he felt up to it.
He thanked me for thinking of him.
He enjoyed watching Daughter play the violin.

He had a doctor's appointment the next day.
Hubby talked to him.
Things sounded ok--a clot--surgery.
The heart was ok.

The next day Hubby called--no answer.
Next day Hubby called no answer.

Hubby called me at work.
I can't get hold of Dad--

I thought he was having second thoughts about the phone call and " good talk they had".

" Do a well call", I said.
" I can't--will you?", Hubby said.
" Sure--if he going to be mad have him mad at me", I said.

I called the police at lunch and prepare for Joe to be mad at me.
Half hour later--no call back.
Police said they were still checking things out- could they have a number where I was.
My stomach lurched--this what happen with Steven.

20 minutes later my principal arrived.
Sh---, Sh--, I yelled.

How can I tell Hubby his dad is dead now too!

I called Hubby--he said he had a feeling.
I called back the police and started to make arrangements.

And then I went home to tell my children that Papa had died.




Thursday, May 21, 2009

Gluten Free

Five days --gluten free.

I am feeling better!
My hives are gone.
My stomach is flatter. ( I fit into pants I didn't fit into in the fall)

I am more present.
I am happier.
I am playful--awake.
I like my family!

The eating part isn't so bad.
A day at a time.
I am eating lots of fruits and veggies.

I am learning to eat differently --and so far the kids are ok with that.

Last night dinner---
Hamburger patty( homemade) covered with mayo, tomatoes and avacado.
Homemade french fries ( sliced up potatoes, olive oil, salt roasted in the oven)
Watermelon.

All was eaten.
All were happy!

So far so good!

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

New England Weather

So yesterday we awoke to 31 degrees.
Today's high--80 degrees.
Tomorrow--- 90 --YEP 90!

Don't you just love the spring!

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

New England Weather

Frost warnings last nigh.
32 degrees this morning.

HELLO-
It May 19th!!

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Hives Con't

Woke up yesterday feeling pretty good!

Took a shower--grabbed a cup of coffee.

Drove to work--got another cup of coffee.

Itchy reappear.
My arms have hive. My feet itch. My stomach itches and my legs start swelling!

My stomach is upset, I am bloated and I have a headache!

What...how...???!!!!
I ate eggs and asparagus for dinner?
Yogurt for breakfast!

Go on line --start researching.

I am lactose intolerant--I use non dairy creamer.
Non dairy creamer has gluten--who knew? It's not bread!

Back to square one all over 2 cups of coffee!!!

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Hives

It started about 10 days ago. My feet itched. I looked at them they were covered in bumps.
Hmmm I thought.

The next day my legs itched. They had bumps.

I asked my friends at work. Poison Ivy they said.

I bought cream. Smothered my legs with it. Took Benedryl.

The next day more on my legs.
The day after my arms.

Soon the top of my legs were rough, raw , itchy, swelling and hot.
You could feel the heat of my skin through my pants.

Monday I went to the doctor--a week after the first scratch.
Any changes in shampoo, detergent, cream? Nope.
Any changes in diet?
Well I did a "mini cleanse" ( very Happy Valley). I was feeling sluggish bloated so I gave up flour and sugar for 3 weeks.
The bumps appeared 1 day after I started eating bread.

Doctor--" I thought that looked like celiac!"

Celiac-your body can't process glutton.
Glutton is in four, wheat, barley, rye, .... everything!

Stop eating it. Take a blood test.
Blood results back in 2 weeks.

They gave me meds.
I expected to feel well.
I felt better but not well.

I still have the chills, raw skin, swelling, welts, hives, and heat.
Whenever I get warm they reappear, stronger than before.
They have stopped spreading--they are now my torso.

It's hard to sleep. I get chilled. Cover up with a blanket. I get warm. I get welts. I itch.

And so it goes.....

I haven't even begun to think about what life will be like without flour......

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Another one--not so close

It's been a little over 6 months since ML died.
Nine months since Bruce died.
Almost a year since Joe died and over a year since Steve died.

We went away as a family for a week.
We went away as a couple for a weekend.

I exhaled....
Bud always says don't exhale.
Bud's brother called this morning.
Bud's nephew died.
He died of an overdose.

I knew his nephew--but not well.

Once again I heard the pain, anger and sadness in Bud's voice.
I was catapulted back to the previous losses.

I am beginning to wonder if people are trying to exit the planet.
Several religions talk about a second coming in 2012.
Is what coming so bad that so many people are leaving now?
There doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason.

ML was sick for a long time,
Joe dropped dead,
nephew was 25,
Bruce 54--cancer of the lover--hadn't had a drink in 24 years!!

It makes you wonder.........
What exactly is God's plan......

Allergies

I am allergic to pollen, cat hair, dog hair, wool and milk.

I am ok most of the time--but in early spring I am a mess!
Running nose, watery eyes, itchy eyes,and the roof of my mouth gets itchy too.

I try to ignore it.
But after awhile I can't stand it anymore and reach for allergy medicine.

I hate allergy medicine.
I don't know what it does but whenever I take some, I can't stop eating!!!
I become a vacuum and just inhale.
I don't feel full--just hungry!!!!

YUCK!!!!

Friday, May 1, 2009

Weekend Get Away

Find a place for Son to stay for the weekend--check
Find a place for Daughter to stay for the weekend--check
Find someone to watch the dogs--check
Find someone to get Daughter to choir on Saturday--check
Find someone to drop Daughter off at her friend's house--check

Take first exam for on line course--check ( got 100)
Take second exam for on line course--check ( another 100)

Do the wash--check
Pack Son--check
Pack Daughter--check
Pack Hubby-- check
Pack self--check

Pay bills--check
Post office--check

Clean house--check

Check, check , check

Cape Cod here we come!!!!!