Happy Valley

Purging

noreply@blogger.com (Happy Valley Mom) — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 12:47:00 +0000

I started to clean the guest room AGAIN!

It is hard because I still don't know what is "safe" to throw out.

We have a Ton of Hubby's dad stuff and the estate is not settled yet.

But I started.

I stacked all the boxes.

And after asking for guidance, I started going through the boxes.

It's not done But you can walk through the room and see the floor!

Camp

noreply@blogger.com (Happy Valley Mom) — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 15:49:00 +0000

We dropped Daughter off at camp yesterday.

She will be gone for a month.

She has been to this camp before--this is her 4th summer.

She wasn't nervous--she was excited.

She wanted to do all the packing herself and got very annoyed when I "doubled checked " on things.

Within a few minutes of arriving , the car was unpacked and she started to settle in.

I put things away and she move them.

I stepped back, and watched other moms having the same experience.

We ( the moms ) were doing our things, getting them settled and comfortable while...

the daughters we letting us know that this is "their" world.

Moms are not a part of this world.

This is a world where girls learn to be independent, explore and grow without the guidance of moms.

For moms, this where we step back, and trust that we have done a good job.

This is where moms stop being a mom for a month.

After about a half an hour she was unpacked and was off.

She was going from cabin to cabin, looking for friends, hugging laughing, involved.

I sat in the distance and watched.

It was clear I was no longer needed.

And so with a very quick hug I left her to her world.

A world that I am not a part of.

As we drove away I felt proud, happy and sad.

Proud that she was so independent.

Happy she was sooo happy and excited.

And sad that that I was no longer needed--

well part of me is proud that she she didn't need me.....

Graduation

noreply@blogger.com (Happy Valley Mom) — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 09:53:00 +0000

Tonight is graduation at my school.

The kids I had as 7th graders my first year teaching at this school are graduating.

They have asked me to come.

They came to me reading below a 4th grade level and a string of emotional issues.

All of them are graduating.

All but 2 are going to college.

It is so rewarding to see that you have helped someone.

I am not sure I am going to get though tonight without shedding a few tears.

Congrats class of 2009!!

Thinking Aloud #9

noreply@blogger.com (Happy Valley Mom) — Sun, 24 May 2009 17:58:00 +0000

Before last year events were defined by by happy events-birthdays, anniversaries.

Now it defined by the "last time".

The Sunday morning of Memorial Day weekend 2008--

Hubby and I sat out and had our morning coffee on the deck.

We talked about Joe--his health was not good.

It looked like he had a blood clot in his leg.

He would need help after the surgery and we had a BIG discussion about what that would entail.

Hubby called Joe--he sounded scared.

Hubby explained we had been through this with his mom and we were there to help.

He needed to move closer and he needed to let us in -let us help.

Joe listened and agreed.

Once he got through this hurtle he would come out here and look for places to live out here.

They hung up.

Hubby looked relieved and thought the call went really well.

Hubby said Joe was in pain and having trouble walking.

I called Joe back.

Did he need anything? Did he need food? I could run down some food.

No he said he was fine--really. He had steak, and veggies.

He sounded pleased that I called back.

He said he had a good talk with Hubby and he loved us.

Two days later, I called to tell him Daughter would be playing in a concert near him.

He said he would go if he felt up to it.

He thanked me for thinking of him.

He enjoyed watching Daughter play the violin.

He had a doctor's appointment the next day.

Hubby talked to him.

Things sounded ok--a clot--surgery.

The heart was ok.

The next day Hubby called--no answer.

Next day Hubby called no answer.

Hubby called me at work.

I can't get hold of Dad--

I thought he was having second thoughts about the phone call and " good talk they had".

" Do a well call", I said.

" I can't--will you?", Hubby said.

" Sure--if he going to be mad have him mad at me", I said.

I called the police at lunch and prepare for Joe to be mad at me.

Half hour later--no call back.

Police said they were still checking things out- could they have a number where I was.

My stomach lurched--this what happen with Steven.

20 minutes later my principal arrived.

Sh---, Sh--, I yelled.

How can I tell Hubby his dad is dead now too!

I called Hubby--he said he had a feeling.

I called back the police and started to make arrangements.

And then I went home to tell my children that Papa had died.

Gluten Free

noreply@blogger.com (Happy Valley Mom) — Thu, 21 May 2009 13:40:00 +0000

Five days --gluten free.

I am feeling better!
My hives are gone.
My stomach is flatter. ( I fit into pants I didn't fit into in the fall)

I am more present.
I am happier.
I am playful--awake.
I like my family!

The eating part isn't so bad.
A day at a time.
I am eating lots of fruits and veggies.

I am learning to eat differently --and so far the kids are ok with that.

Last night dinner---
Hamburger patty( homemade) covered with mayo, tomatoes and avacado.
Homemade french fries ( sliced up potatoes, olive oil, salt roasted in the oven)
Watermelon.

All was eaten.
All were happy!

So far so good!

New England Weather

noreply@blogger.com (Happy Valley Mom) — Wed, 20 May 2009 11:31:00 +0000

So yesterday we awoke to 31 degrees.
Today's high--80 degrees.
Tomorrow--- 90 --YEP 90!

Don't you just love the spring!

New England Weather

noreply@blogger.com (Happy Valley Mom) — Tue, 19 May 2009 10:02:00 +0000

Frost warnings last nigh.

32 degrees this morning.

HELLO-

It May 19th!!

Hives Con't

noreply@blogger.com (Happy Valley Mom) — Sat, 16 May 2009 16:45:00 +0000

Woke up yesterday feeling pretty good!

Took a shower--grabbed a cup of coffee.

Drove to work--got another cup of coffee.

Itchy reappear.

My arms have hive. My feet itch. My stomach itches and my legs start swelling!

My stomach is upset, I am bloated and I have a headache!

What...how...???!!!!

I ate eggs and asparagus for dinner?

Yogurt for breakfast!

Go on line --start researching.

I am lactose intolerant--I use non dairy creamer.

Non dairy creamer has gluten--who knew? It's not bread!

Back to square one all over 2 cups of coffee!!!

Hives

noreply@blogger.com (Happy Valley Mom) — Thu, 14 May 2009 21:18:00 +0000

It started about 10 days ago. My feet itched. I looked at them they were covered in bumps.

Hmmm I thought.

The next day my legs itched. They had bumps.

I asked my friends at work. Poison Ivy they said.

I bought cream. Smothered my legs with it. Took Benedryl.

The next day more on my legs.

The day after my arms.

Soon the top of my legs were rough, raw , itchy, swelling and hot.

You could feel the heat of my skin through my pants.

Monday I went to the doctor--a week after the first scratch.

Any changes in shampoo, detergent, cream? Nope.

Any changes in diet?

Well I did a "mini cleanse" ( very Happy Valley). I was feeling sluggish bloated so I gave up flour and sugar for 3 weeks.

The bumps appeared 1 day after I started eating bread.

Doctor--" I thought that looked like celiac!"

Celiac-your body can't process glutton.

Glutton is in four, wheat, barley, rye, .... everything!

Stop eating it. Take a blood test.

Blood results back in 2 weeks.

They gave me meds.

I expected to feel well.

I felt better but not well.

I still have the chills, raw skin, swelling, welts, hives, and heat.

Whenever I get warm they reappear, stronger than before.

They have stopped spreading--they are now my torso.

It's hard to sleep. I get chilled. Cover up with a blanket. I get warm. I get welts. I itch.

And so it goes.....

I haven't even begun to think about what life will be like without flour......

Another one--not so close

noreply@blogger.com (Happy Valley Mom) — Tue, 05 May 2009 22:09:00 +0000

It's been a little over 6 months since ML died.

Nine months since Bruce died.

Almost a year since Joe died and over a year since Steve died.

We went away as a family for a week.

We went away as a couple for a weekend.

I exhaled....

Bud always says don't exhale.

Bud's brother called this morning.

Bud's nephew died.

He died of an overdose.

I knew his nephew--but not well.

Once again I heard the pain, anger and sadness in Bud's voice.

I was catapulted back to the previous losses.

I am beginning to wonder if people are trying to exit the planet.

Several religions talk about a second coming in 2012.

Is what coming so bad that so many people are leaving now?

There doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason.

ML was sick for a long time,

Joe dropped dead,

nephew was 25,

Bruce 54--cancer of the lover--hadn't had a drink in 24 years!!

It makes you wonder.........

What exactly is God's plan......

Allergies

noreply@blogger.com (Happy Valley Mom) — Tue, 05 May 2009 22:04:00 +0000

I am allergic to pollen, cat hair, dog hair, wool and milk.

I am ok most of the time--but in early spring I am a mess!

Running nose, watery eyes, itchy eyes,and the roof of my mouth gets itchy too.

I try to ignore it.

But after awhile I can't stand it anymore and reach for allergy medicine.

I hate allergy medicine.

I don't know what it does but whenever I take some, I can't stop eating!!!

I become a vacuum and just inhale.

I don't feel full--just hungry!!!!

YUCK!!!!

Weekend Get Away

noreply@blogger.com (Happy Valley Mom) — Fri, 01 May 2009 17:32:00 +0000

Find a place for Son to stay for the weekend--check

Find a place for Daughter to stay for the weekend--check

Find someone to watch the dogs--check

Find someone to get Daughter to choir on Saturday--check

Find someone to drop Daughter off at her friend's house--check

Take first exam for on line course--check ( got 100)

Take second exam for on line course--check ( another 100)

Do the wash--check

Pack Son--check

Pack Daughter--check

Pack Hubby-- check

Pack self--check

Pay bills--check

Post office--check

Clean house--check

Check, check , check

Cape Cod here we come!!!!!

Petty

noreply@blogger.com (Happy Valley Mom) — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 23:45:00 +0000

I would love to be able to say that all the teachers I work with treat students with special needs fairly--but I can't.

There is a core group of teachers that won't make modifications and won't teach to this population.

A friend of mine teaches the students with emotional disabilities.

He teaches them skills and strategies and slowly mainstreams them back out into regular ed.

He works with the teachers and provides them with help and guidance.

There is one teacher who refuses to help these students.

This teachers complains and shames these students.

My friend had had enough and called her on it.

He went to the administration and force her to stop discriminating.

She wasn't happy and said she wasn't done.

She is well connected in the town my friend lives in.

For the past 4 years he has coached his son's baseball team.

Last year they went to the finals.

This teacher called the head of the town rec department and blocked him coaching this year.

Can you believe how petty people can be?

DC

noreply@blogger.com (Happy Valley Mom) — Sun, 26 Apr 2009 19:32:00 +0000

We took the kids to DC last week.

The weather was nice and we had a good time.

We saw Dorothy's Ruby slippers, The Capital, The White House, the monuments, and the zoo.

The zoo was the only disappointment.

While at the capital we sat in the Galley seats. The kids were excited to see our Senator. I was excited because I knew what they were discussing.

While at the Jefferson monument, we saw Marine 1 and it 3 escorts flew over--very cool.

The Arlington cemetery was humbling. The story of Robert E. Lee's house was mind blowing.

The government basically stole it from him.

A good time was had by all.

Hugging

noreply@blogger.com (Happy Valley Mom) — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 08:19:00 +0000

I have noticed an increase of " hugging" among the students in my school.

Correction--among the middle schoolers.

They hug when they greet each other.

They hug when they say Good Bye.

They run after each other to give hugs.

It is not all the students--it is girls.

Girls hug girls, girls hug boys.

I have not seen boys hugging boys--they high five or bump each other.

Sometimes girls keep hugging as they walk down the hall. Kindof a hug walk thing.

When a girl and a guy are " going out together" they hold hands. They don't hug.

Sometimes a girl will drop the hand of her " boyfriend" to hug a friend and then resume hand holding.

I thought this was just happening at my school, but I saw it at Daughter's school too.

Don't get me wrong--I don't mind it--(Actually, I think it kindof sweet)

I am just wondering when it started being the norm.

Today

noreply@blogger.com (Happy Valley Mom) — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 21:01:00 +0000

Rainy Day in May made a list of the things she did on one day.

I thought I'd give it a try!

I am going to use Monday because this morning was not typical!

On Monday I:

Got up

Took out the dogs

Feed the dogs

Made coffee

Checked emails and posted blog( written the night before)

Took a shower

Drank coffee

Got Daughter up

Got dressed

Drank more coffee

Got Son's snack ready

Drank coffee

Woke up hubby and got his coffee

Drank coffee

Dropped car off at garage to have brakes fixed

Meet Mel there and we drove into work together

Bought Mel a coffee as a Thank you for driving me in

Hubby called-Son sick --he will stay home with him

Arrived at school

Meet with first student--video taped lessons for class

Went to elementary school for a transition meeting

Got upset at the end of meeting--sped teacher there doesn't know what she is talking about

Went back to school-

Dropped off meeting notes

Back to classroom

Three more meetings with teachers about transition meeting

Hubby called I have to be late tomorrow he has a conference call China at 7am

Taught 1 more classes

Lunch

Taught 2 more classes

Made arrangements for students in the am

Prep for classes tomorrow

Road home with Mel

Walked in the door

Hubby hands a list of things to find for the taxes

Garage called

Hubby takes me to get car--he has to the office to get ready for conference call

Dishes

Found the things on Hubby's list

Check homework

Dinner

Put away 1/ the laundry

Made 2 phone calls

Walk dogs

Comb out Daughters hair

Watch TV--Chuck--with family

Tuck kids in

Read for 10 minutes

Fall asleep

Signs of Spring

noreply@blogger.com (Happy Valley Mom) — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 22:36:00 +0000

Spring is starting to arrive in the Happy Valley.

Temps during the day are reaching 50's this week.

The Robins have returned.

The trees have buds.

It's lighter in the morning.

And the daffodils are Waking up!

Holidays

noreply@blogger.com (Happy Valley Mom) — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 20:20:00 +0000

We been through Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years and some birthdays so..

Why am I having such a hard time with Easter?

Easter was the first holiday I spent with Hubby's family after we got engaged.

ML and I went shopping for Easter outfits.

I brought tulips--she hated Easter Lillies.

I helped with dinner and for the first time felt like I was part of the family.

Traditions were big with ML.

She had several for Easter.

It was at her her house that the ham dinner with fresh asparagus was served.

When we lived in the Eastern part of the state we would spend Easter weekend at her house.

The kids would wake up Easter morning to a jellybean trail that lead them to their Easter Baskets.

There would be egg hunts in her backyard.

Every year she would find at least one still hidden when she did the fall clean up.

Hubby's and Mark's birthdays are around Easter so she always including a birthday cake as part of the celebration.

This Easter we are having dinner at Mark's house.

I am bringing dessert.

I mention birthday cake and Mary's response was

" Why would we have birthday cake at Easter?"

I know we have to move now but I am having a hard time with this one.

I want a little of ML's traditions .

I thought about doing a jellybean trail but I am no sure that Freckles won't eat them.

Hmmmmm...

Who would have thought that Easter would be this difficult?

How Did I Get So Lucky?

noreply@blogger.com (Happy Valley Mom) — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 13:57:00 +0000

Daughter usually gets home from school before I do.
She is old enough to be home by herself and she is responsible.

Yesterday I opened the door and there was Daughter sitting on the floor-starring back at me with a VERY GUILTY look on her face.

Thoughts went through my head--"Oh, what is this about?"

" I know I am suspose to be doing my homework but I HAVE find out how this book ends!"
"I will start my homework as soon as I finish--Ionly have 20 pages left."

Finish reading a book--she was apologizing for reading a book instead of doing her homework!

She is such a good kid!

FYI-The book was The Host by Stephanie Meyer ( Twight author)
She said the book took a little while to get into and then she couldn't put it down.

Roller Coaster Rides

noreply@blogger.com (Happy Valley Mom) — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 08:00:00 +0000

I haven't been blogging.

I have written a few but I haven't posted them.

I have been waiting for today.

It could see it, feel it, dread it.

It kept marching on and I knew it would get here.

I knew it wouldn't stop. I just waited.

Today is Hubby's birthday.

I could write about that--but I can't.

Today is April Fool's Day--I could write about that--but there in nothing funny about today.

April first will forever be changed in my mind and heart.

One year ago, at 2:20 am ( will technically it was April 2nd) the phone rang.

I usually don't answer it , but I did.

It was Hubby's brother--Steven.

" Oh, Hi C . Is J there?"

" Steven it's 2:30 in the morning. We have to work tomorrow!", I replied.

Silence.

" Good bye" he said.

And then he hung up.

I went back to bed.

I lay there

Good bye.

Steven never says good bye.

The next morning Hubby had 4 text messages from Steven.

They didn't make sense.

I checked my emails-

Jules emailed to say Steve was acting up again and they had a rough night.

Steve had called her several times.

He was yelling and ranting.

Later we heard that two of Steve's friends received weird text messages from Steve.

Steve also called his mom around 11 and was told she was asleep.

He was suppose to meet Jules at 1 for an appointment.

He no showed.

Jules called his cell several times.

No answer.

Silence all day.

The next day, the same thing -- silence.

On the third day Jules drove by his house.

His car was there.

She called the police.

They did a well check.

But all was not well.

Steven had killed himself.

He had been dead for several days.

The was April 4th-Jay's brother Mark's birthday.

And so started the Roller Coaster ride.

Within SIX months only 1 brother ( Mark) would be still be alive from Hubby's family.

By all accounts I was the last one to speak to Steven--I think about that more than I care admit.

I feel like we didn't have a chance to mourn Steven.

That even though it was been a year--

---a whole year--

We didn't get a chance to truly experience a year without Steven because the loss of Joe, Gena and Bruce, got in the way.

And so I sit.

I brace myself.

Will we get a chance to truly mourn Steven or will something else get in the way--I wonder.

I feel cheated.

I feel like I wasn't given a chance to "properly" experience the "firsts" without Steven because there wasn't just a hole. The hole grew and it had become a cave.

A cave full of loss.

Even now, I can't seem to separate his loss from all the others.

And so it is here.

The anniversary of Steven's death.

The anniversary of the last time I heard his voice.

And... it's Hubby's birthday.......

Writing

noreply@blogger.com (Happy Valley Mom) — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 16:30:00 +0000

Writing is hard.

It's personal.

It is hard to know when you have said enough and when you need more.

We have been working on writing in school.

Next week the 7th graders will have to write a long compostion for the State wide testing.

I have been trying to get them to relax.

I have been trying to let them see and hear that others struggle with writing too.

I tell them my struggles.

I tell of I got up at 4 am every week day morning for a year so I could work on my thesis.

I tell them if I could write for them, I would But the only way to get better at writing is to write.

They are starting to relax.

They are starting to let others help them and not take it personally.

They becoming writers!

The Look

noreply@blogger.com (Happy Valley Mom) — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 12:06:00 +0000

I exited and there he was.
Tall, dark handsome.
He was leaning against the pole.
His blue shirt , jeans and leather coat look casual yet sexy.

His eyes met mine.
He smiled a slightly crooked smile that lit up his eyes.
He nodded and I was drawn to him.

I walked over, eyes locked on his.
I was sweaty and wearing workout clothes but I didn't care.
I felt tingly and wanted to be near him.
I wanted to inhale him, embrace him.

I felt light and giddy.

As I approached he leaned over and kissed me.
My knees got weak.
I closed my eyes and inhaled.

When I eyes opened there he was--
Hubby.
After 20 years he can still make me weak in the knees!

Love Letter

noreply@blogger.com (Happy Valley Mom) — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 19:29:00 +0000

Buried underneath of the piles of stuff from Hubby's dad house is where I found them.

A stack of letters tied up with a ribbon.

They were letters written between Hubby's mom (ML) and dad ( Joe) before they got married.

ML had been engaged to another man--Bud--long story another blog.

While visiting her sister in Ohio she met Joe and by the time she left -6 short weeks later she was engaged to him.

The letters are amazing.

Even way back then you could see the train wreck.

She writes about being worried someone will snatch him up because he is such a catch.

He writes that he doesn't want to know about her friends. She should be concentrating on making life for them and deciding how to decorate their house.

She is quitting school but her parents want her to finish college before she gets married.

She wants to get married and fix him. Make him the best man he can be!

I have soo many questions!

Is this what it was like in 1962?

Woman got married and devoted their lives to their husbands?

When did the switch happen?

Is this switch in their relationship what cause them to split--( ML ended up being the bread winner and Joe hardly worked)

ML writes that she's stupid and moody. And then asks for forgiveness !

I would not use those two words to describe her at all!

Why does she think she is that way and WHY would she tell Joe that?

I have sooo many questions .

By the time I met them, their marriage was doomed.

They divorced the year we got married.

Not a nice divorce.

Both were bitter.

What was really strange--there was no mention of kissing or sex!

No mention of longing to be held, touched or caressed.

It was all about the outside stuff--none of the inside.

Sad ...very sad..........

It is no wonder they got divorced!

It sad so sad.

And the saddest part is I can't ask either of them about it.

Chewing

noreply@blogger.com (Happy Valley Mom) — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 21:58:00 +0000

Freckles is chewing EVERYTHING!

When she is a puppy and she should but...

really look at the list>

Son's sneakers

Hubby's handsome ( work) shoes

Hubby's boots

Hubby's head phones

Hubby's other pair of handsome shoes

Still another pair of Hubby's shoes

3 tuperware bowls

3 books

1 school book of Daughter's

5 dishrags

6 pairs of Hubby's socks

( did you notice that Hubby had a lot on this list--guess who doesn't keep his shoes in the hallway?)

Oh By the way--susan you can stop laughing now!

Working Mom

noreply@blogger.com (Happy Valley Mom) — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 19:26:00 +0000

I enjoy being a working mom.

I love my job.

I feel like I make a difference.

I have been blessed with wonderful people who look after my children.

I arrive at work and don't worry about them.

I think about them , talk about them but don't worry.

Unless....

I get a call from their school.

Then all bets are off.

The line is blurred, no gone.

I am no longer a teacher, an employee .

I am a mom.

Home is where I go.

Home is where I belong.